I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
