Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize