She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
