puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
