my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
