I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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