I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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