If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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