I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
