normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
