is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
