you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
