You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
