you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
