there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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