just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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