I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
