HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
