His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I deserve this hangover.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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