i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
