what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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