Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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