So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
