3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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