hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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