She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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