Ambien. No doubt about it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize