i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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