Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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