I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
