I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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