I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
