Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
