3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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