cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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