I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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