How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
