I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
