i just wanna soil my oats bro
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
