So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
