I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
