Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
is it fun? or sober?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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