whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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