My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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