I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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