So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
