Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
