I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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