i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just had sex bonerless
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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