i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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