I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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