so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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