i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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