The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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