Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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