hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You made out with two different species that night
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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